Are you living a divided life?

The Divided ManAre you spending your time split between two selves? The self you show people; the dad, the husband, the leader at work. And the self that's hidden. The lonely self. Weak and trapped by pornography.

Do you ever feel like a hypocrite? Acting one way in public but completely opposite in private? Do you live in fear of being caught or exposed?

After you look at porn are you filled with shame and self doubt? Do you make resolutions and vows to quit? But end up in the same place again days later?

64% of U.S. men view report viewing pornography at least once monthly. And for many, what started as a childhood fascination has turned into a destructive habit. It robs us of our confidence, destroys our relationships, and leaves us completely powerless.

For years I was divided...

Matt DobschuetzI was alone in my struggle and could not get to even 7 days of sobriety. I tried lots of things, but nothing lasted. After ten years of floundering, I discovered what worked for me.

Yes, it is possible to find wholeness. (Really!)
I have tapped into 3 essentials things that have helped me get completely free of pornography for over 5 years and counting.

1.) You need to know why you are eliminating porn from your life.

The more clear you are, the better. It has to be an internal motivation. Something you are longing for at your core. It can't be for your wife, your faith, your family, your job, etc. You have all those things now and you're still stuck.

I am giving you permission to be selfish. That's right selfish. It has to be something deep down that you truly desire. If you think back on why your other attempts to quit have failed. It's likely because you didn't want to truly be free. You were doing something that sounded like a good idea. Maybe you got a filter or an accountability partner. Maybe you got really honest with your wife.

But at some point you realized that policing does not lead to progress. The desire to look at porn was still there. There was still something you wanted from it. But I think that your desire to look at porn is not too strong, it's too weak. We settle for porn instead of engaging our greater desire and purpose in life.

Uncovering your true desire is essential to get free. And it's already there within you. (You wouldn't be reading this if you didn't have a sense that there must be more.)

Being clear about desire is crucial. But you need take the right steps...

2.) You need a plan.

A strong recovery plan. One that's customized to you.

The way you were exposed and trapped by pornography is completely unique and different from every other person out there. That's why there is no "one size fit all" solution.

You may have grown up in an abusive environment where porn provided protection from abuse, harm, and violence. It covered your pain and absorbed your anger.

Or maybe you didn't receive the love and affirmation you needed growing up. Porn became a substitute. It became the salve for rejection, disappointment, and the feelings of inadequacy.

Your experience and triggers are likely different than other guys you know. You may be more sensitive to certain environments and feelings. That's why your plan is unique. To be effective, it must identify your weakness and build on your strengths.

But one thing you must know, your plan is activated by others. No one recovers alone...

3. You need other men.

Pornography is a habit that is practiced in isolation and in secret. Isn't it just common sense that to break that habit you need others?

Through my podcast, Pornfree Radio, I reach thousands of men each week.  I recently surveyed some of my listeners. I ask them what their #1 problem is with quitting porn. Which of these sound like you?

They wrote:

  • I have a lot of difficulty letting people into this part of my life
  • Being honest about my struggle
  • Finding an accountability partner that holds me accountable
  • Finding a group with people who are trying to move forward and not saying "I'm ok... you're ok”
  • I'm the only one in my circle that struggles and wants to be free
  • No one to journey with to recovery

There is a common theme here.  You need a strong group to support recovery. A group where you can't hide and everyone is rowing in the same direction. It's not good enough to just have the intention to quit porn, you need to action. Committing to a group is the single most powerful action you can take to go porn free.

And to stay porn free the most important thing you need is on going connection. The opposite of addiction is connection.

Introducing REV Group Coaching

I created REV group coaching for men who need more connection. REV stands for revolution. In order for you to get free from porn you need to do things differently. You know the definition of insanity don't you? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Stop doing this on your own.

REV group coaching is weekly group coaching. It's confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference. Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

REV Group Coaching

In 10 Weeks, You will:

  • Define your motivation and get crystal clear of your internal motivation
  • Build your customized recovery plan
  • Get the feedback and accountability you have been lacking
  • Grow with others and experience team work in recovery

REV gave me concrete tools and put me into a community willing to hear me and hold me accountable...Matt has deep insights to the addiction and cares for those in his program. His feedback was "right on target." I would recommend REV for anyone but most particularly those who are stuck.

Larry, 74 year old married man, retired

The REV group is the first time I felt like I could talk about my experiences in a judgement free place. Sharing and hearing the guys stories and struggles helps me learn and understand my own relationship with porn... I highly, highly, highly recommend REV coaching to guys without a solid support group. It has changed the game for me.

Patrick, 26 year old man with a long term girlfriend

REV Changed the Game

Guys have described this group as a game changer. "The best thing they have ever done in recovery." They have had real results also. I just a got a note today from a guy who just celebrating 150 days porn free. The group has made the difference. You could be next.

New groups begin, July 5th and 6th. Register before before June 23, 2017 to reserve your spot. Spring groups sold out. Don't wait!

Take hope and take action,

Matt Dobschuetz
Coach and Host of Pornfree Radio

REV Group Coaching

Live Group Coaching

 

$597or 3 Payments of $227
Your application does commit you to the group. Upon acceptance you will be given further instructions.
Apply Now

Includes:

  • Group Coaching for Men with Matt Dobschuetz
  • Secure Video Conference (Phone Dial-in Also Available)
  • 10 Weeks
  • Limited Size
  • Daily Check-ins via rTribe (Optional)
  • Includes lifetime access to Your Porn Free Playbook ($197 Value)
REV Group Coaching Plus

Live Group Coaching plus 3 sessions of 1-on-1 coaching with Matt Dobschuetz.

$997or 3 Payments of $367
Your application does commit you to the group. Upon acceptance you will be given further instructions.
Apply Now

Includes:

  • Group Coaching for Men with Matt Dobschuetz
  • Secure Video Conference (Phone Dial-in Also Available)
  • 10 Weeks
  • Limited Size
  • Daily Check-ins via rTribe (Optional)
  • Includes lifetime access to Your Porn Free Playbook ($197 Value)

Are you 100% porn free?

My bottom lines are: no pornography, no fantasy, and no masturbation. I have maintained this for over 5 years following a personalized plan designed for me. I have also eliminated other nagging habits such as: Google image searches, YouTube Surfing, trying to circumvent filters, and objectifying women in public.

Is this group confidential?

The REV group is  for men serious about recovery. Each man agrees to keep the confidentiality of the group. Group sessions are not recorded. You also can control what and how much you disclose. (Example: your location, occupation, etc.)

Why does it cost $597?

REV Group Coaching is an investment in your self care and recovery. It ensures your commitment and attention. Each man in the group has invested which creates a higher level of safety and commitment.

“Will I be able to talk with you directly?”

I am on every call and give my feedback and input along with the other men. We have group check-ins each week, plus you will have dedicated hot seats over the 10 weeks where you can get personal attention. If you need additional support building your plan upgrade to REV Group Coaching Plus which includes 3 sessions of 1-on-1 coaching.

“Can you guarantee recovery?”

The answer is simple. If you will honestly face the truth about yourself and your addiction; if you will depend on the help and support of others; if you commit to a plan and the habit of ruthless honesty; and, most important, if you are willing to give up trying to solve this on your own. I believe you can indeed join the ranks of those who recover.

For questions, contact me at matt@recoveredman.com.

matt300

REV Group Coaching, next session July 2017